i haunt your train

by Mileva Anastasiadou

I haunt the train that would have brought you back to me and your Absurd can’t beat that. It can’t beat forever, love, or hope after the end of life and hope and everything. I sit next to your ghost and we exchange glances and words in silence because ghosts can’t speak. Life is what gives power to the Absurd and we’ve run out of life, but life doesn’t end with a bang, it only degrades into shadows of regret and everything that’s left undone.

I hated this train when I was alive but as a ghost I cherish it, because it saved our love and made it endless, shiny, and eternal. You once wrote books on the Absurd in life but you still had no idea that death can be absurd too, and you’ve turned into a dead Sisyphus, you brought the myth back into life after you died, stepping inside the train again and again and again, hoping to come to me and stay with me. You now live in death like you lived life; you knew Absurd but you ignored it. but life doesn’t end with a bang, except in your case it did, and then moved on as an absurd ghost story.

Absurd took its revenge on you for calling it out. Absurd said, I’ll show you absurd, and it did, and you said, I can’t beat you but I’ll die trying, and you did, you thought that all that mattered was that ‘happily ever after’ you couldn’t reach, and you never found out about life after the happy ending, about how our love would fade, about how absurd life gets after love wins. You never saw how life still goes on after the end of the story, and how after the plot and the climax and the happy end, we watch each other die, because love, like life, doesn’t end with a bang (except in our case it did) but with a whimper.

Click here to read Mileva’s bio!