biting down on porcelain plates

by Jack Coldicott

"I had a dream -

biting down on porcelain plates,

Unsure of the taste, nameless and unknown,

whistling through chipped teeth

- I don’t know what it means.

Am I full or still starving?

Clinging to hunger

Loving the body I’m harming?

the hunger and the harm, entwined

Will I ever satisfied"

The Silent Cycle of Online Diet Culture

I had a horrible dream last Friday night, brought on by an evening of doomscrolling through TikTok. By now, most people have noticed that the 10-year cycle has come full circle—skinny is back in. If you’re unaware, just type “Healthy Eating” into TikTok. After a few passes of generic personal trainers offering rice cake popsicles dipped in peanut butter, you’ll inevitably stumble upon someone trapped in an unspoken struggle. Those deep in this corner of the app have learned to refer to eating disorders covertly—calling them ‘EdnotSheeran,’ as if secrecy might soften the reality.

You might wonder why a 32-year-old man is talking about this. At 17, I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act due to severe depression and anorexia with bulimic tendencies—a combination I was told was rare. Yet when I arrived at the ward, I quickly realized it wasn’t. Nearly every other patient had bulimic tendencies too. The difference was they kept that part hidden, and I was called a fool for being so honest.

Now, watching these self-proclaimed diet influencers, I see the same patterns playing out again. Many of them, unknowingly, seem to have developed eating disorders under the guise of "healthy living"—consuming as little as 1,000 calories a day while still working out for over three hours. The lines between discipline and disorder blur, especially in the echo chamber of social media.

And it's not just the influencers who are affected—it's their audience, too. Young people absorb these messages daily, shaping their self-worth around arbitrary calorie counts and body measurements. The algorithm rewards extremity, pushing the most drastic transformations and the strictest regimes, while any voice of balance is drowned out. What begins as a casual curiosity—a simple search for “healthy eating”—soon spirals into a curated feed of unattainable ideals.

And I wonder—ten years from now, will we look back at this moment the way we do every decade? Will we see the damage done, the bodies pushed beyond their limits, the minds shaped by scarcity and control?

Will we learn?

Or will we simply watch as the pendulum swings again, shifting beauty standards and offering new false promises, while the underlying struggle remains unchanged? Because to me, as a victim of the last cycle…we haven't learned a thing.

Photo of Jack Coldicott

BIO: Jack Coldicott is a writer from the UK whose work weaves deep seated, confessional lyricism with sometimes beat-inspired rhythm while also drawing on repetition, and layered imagery to explore cycles of longing and transformation. Jack draws inspiration mainly from the rolling open landscapes that have surrounded him since birth, from the meadows of Upton to the towering Malvern Hills. Jack’s writing is shaped by existential philosophy, Japanese aesthetics, and a fascination with the interplay of humour and melancholy.