this also sucks (excerpts)
by Loel Earl
American Quality
A 15 minute delay on the tarmac
An Outrage!
This is. Unacceptable!
I Think,
"This will seem cute when the planes start falling out
of the sky"*
The Great American Expectation of American Quality
Incongruent with the reality
Inconsistent with the effort.
Inconvenient....
TO ME!
SPECIFICALLY ME ESPECIALLY
ME
No, It isn't this thinking that got us here in the first place. That
can't be it.
*written before they actually did. HA!
Trad Dads
Young Catholic Dads Purposefully
Uncool
Just uncool enough to be visually catching They
would stand out in a dad line up
"That One! He's obviously catholic but in an
obnoxiously intellectual way!"
There is no Zealot like a convert
and all trad dads are converts
They're all debate team all stars
who flirted with nihilism until they realized
they can't win and make people feel stupid
if nothing matters
In crisis, they shop religions
"I want to be insufferably confident in my
opinions!"
"I want to have the trump card for any
philosophical quandary!"
"I want hipster aesthetics backed by The
Almighty!"
The Priest tells them
"My Son, Become Catholic"
So they donned the uniform impregnated
their wife several times
and will never stop talking about pornography
This Also Sucks
People speak about anything,
and a galaxy explodes around them.
Their thoughts
Their Influences
Their childhoods
The Dinosaurs
The Sun Expanding
Boiling Oceans
I am my own devil's advocate and
we always wrestle to a draw.
I am tired of this world–these people
I want to exit.
I want to buy
Taco Bell
and Several Beers.
And then
I want to transport to Mars.
I want to privately consume my supplies and
create a twisting, perfectly symmetrical
floating palace of glass.
I want to sit, alone, finally at peace, marveling
at my creation.
And I will say to myself,
This Also Sucks.
Stated Planely
If I had a nickel
for every time
I had a tumid erection
on an airplane,
I'd have the necessary funds to
purchase a plane exclusively
for the purpose
of having sex in the sky.
***Visit Loel’s website This Also Sucks to read his entire virtual collection!!!***
Photo of Loel Earl
BIO: Loel Earl is a mostly sane man with a more sane wife and insane child residing in Texas. He ruined his brain with gas station vapes and propylhexedrine and now this is about all he can do. His firm belief is that everything sucks unless it doesn’t and nothing matters except when it does.