four poems
by Alex Carrigan
Intrusive Thoughts Around an Open Window
The thoughts pound into you like a railroad spike.
You try to ignore the blood pooling in your eye, but
the thoughts demand you lay down for them.
You feel around your scalp for where they burrowed in.
You feel the cold resistance near the top of your head.
The thoughts pound into you like a railroad spike.
A second spike is lined up next to the previous,
and you know the impact is coming.
The thoughts demand you lay down for them.
You want to forget they broke into you,
that you allowed yourself that momentary weakness, but
the thoughts pound into you like a railroad spike.
You look for a hammer to pull them out,
for a loud sound to pull your attention away, but
the thoughts demand you lay down for them.
You’ll finally accept the tracks laid on top of you
and know you’ll be unable to ignore them.
The thoughts pound into you like a railroad spike.
The thoughts demand you lay down for them.
Last Testament
The entire world is an oven left on overnight.
I don’t have to be an astrophysicist to know where this is going.
People have no idea how incorrect their self images are.
They talk of imagined somedays and sip their beers.
You know the truth though, right?
Real adulthood is having projects you know you’ll never do.
I got over embarrassment a long time ago.
I yield my post to robots, because I cannot be a poet today.
I feel a lifetime of fallen hands on my shoulders.
My desire has never been simple.
The first time you live, there is death, heat, live terror.
I want you to live, and hope that is enough.
Note: This poem is a cento of twelve lines from twelve randomly selected pieces on HAD. The cited works are, in order:
“In Which a Boy Alone on a Picnic Eats a Rainbow Cookie Laced with Poison but the Reader Doesn’t Know if the Boy Is Aware There’s Poison in the Cookie or Not Because the Boy Isn’t Real and the Cookie Isn’t Real However the Rainbow Shape Is Real Because There Is an Actual Rainbow in the Sky Being Set on Fire by a Bunch of Angry Fascists” by Adam Gianforcaro
“In the Spaceship of Imagination” by Amber Burke
“Bieber’s Calvins” by Doug Paul Case
“He Is In A Clearing If You Can Find It” by Craig Rodgers
“Spock Fives” by Kirsti MacKenzie
“Metrics” by Mike Bagwell
“Empty Gestures” by Claire Hopple
“‘We Say Poetic Shit All the Time’”Said One Poet to Another” by Paxton Grey
“I Hope the Entwives Are Off Partying Somewhere Together” by Gabriela Denise Frank
“Plague Spit” by Olive Greene
“On the Planet Where You Really Live” by Rafiat Lamidi
“Becoming Regulars at Beanvenidos Grill” by Mike Itaya
Ars Poetica: Vinification
After “Ars Poetica with Invocation” by Megan Denton
I leave a bottle of wine at the door
of every monastery I visit.
I never cross the threshold.
I have no finger tips left to
dab holy water on my forehead,
no pockmarks in my skin to collect drops.
I leave the label of the wine
facing the wall, never out to the road,
not because I want anyone to
think it’s expensive or worth stealing,
but because they’ll see the warning
not to drink. I broke parts of myself down,
pressed them hard in a wine press
so I could fill enough to bottles
to leave all the world’s monasteries.
I will keep this process going until
there is nothing left for me
to give to God
except the slight headache
that comes from drinking
too much wine when
you’re alone.
Ars Poetica: Karaage
After “Ars Poetica” by Suzi Q. Smith
I learned to make fried chicken
so I could know what it’s like
to reach into your chest and
feel all the parts of you
that can convince me you’re alive
and not chopped into bite-sized
pieces to be tossed in a bag with
soy sauce, ginger, garlic, and sake,
although I’m left with a slimy feel
on my hands that I’m tempted to
wipe on my pant leg because
I’m not sure that I have soap strong
enough to rid myself of the
stench of the person you truly are,
someone who won’t even cry out
if hot oil touches their skin.
Photo of Alex Carrigan
BIO: Alex Carrigan (he/him) is a Pushcart-nominated editor, poet, and critic from Alexandria, VA. He is the author of Now Let’s Get Brunch (Querencia Press, 2023) and May All Our Pain Be Champagne (Alien Buddha Press, 2022). He has appeared in HAD, fifth wheel press, Sage Cigarettes, JAKE, Inlandia Journal, and more. Visit carriganak.wordpress.com or follow him on Twitter @carriganak for more info.