all the pizza parties - remembering the pizza underground

CNF by Rachel Turney

Rachel’s selfie @ The Pizza Underground’s Brooklyn Bowl performance

For five glorious years Macaulay Culkin fronted a band called The Pizza Underground (2013-2018). If you missed it, I am sorry. The group played Velvet Underground songs, but swapped out the lyrics with words about pizza. Think cheese, slice, dough, and delivery.

It’s clear this idea was conceptualized out of boredom. If you have ever spent a winter crammed in a New York City apartment, you will understand. It’s in small, claustrophobic spaces that great art is born, like say, Marcel the Shell, but I digress.

It wasn’t all mozzarella. In some venues, the band received negative feedback for disrespecting what many feel is one of the greatest bands of all time, Lou Reed’s Velvet Underground. Which is a good group, but was only great when Nico was around. Again, I digress. British audiences were especially skeptical, once booing The Pizza Underground off stage. I hypothesize that this is due to a lack of sense of humor and misunderstanding of reverential art forms.

I have included a selfie of me at Brooklyn Bowl, the first time I saw The Pizza Underground. The band also went on tour, and I had the absolute pleasure to see them again in my hometown, Saint Louis. In New York, takeout pizzas were passed through the crowd. It’s worth noting that the opener at one of these shows, I don’t remember which because obviously I was both stoned and drunk at each performance, was a Nirvana cover band that put the verbs of the lyrics in alternative tenses. Genius.

Why shouldn't we come as we were and as I wanted you to be and have all the pizza parties? What nostalgia, what delight! I can’t fathom hating on pure linguistic magic, and that’s what it was. Pure magic and pizza. I miss you, The Pizza Underground. Check online for performance videos.

Photo of Rachel Turney

BIO: Rachel Turney, Ed.D. (she/her) is an educator and artist located in Denver. Her poems, research articles, drawings, and photography can be found in a variety of publications. Rachel is passionate about immigrant rights, teacher support, and empowering other artists. She is a Writers’ Hour prize winner and her photography can be found on a few magazine covers. Rachel is on staff at Bare Back as a contributing writer with her monthly column Friday Night in the Suburbs. She is a reader for The Los Angeles Review. Her poetry collection Record Player Life is forthcoming with The Poetry Lighthouse. Stay tuned and keep writing! 

Website: turneytalks.com Instagram: @turneytalks Bluesky: rachelturney