cursed food from layer 3.2 of dante's inferno or mutant munchies

by Brandon Yu

—after Robin LaMer Rahija’s Future Food

Pepsi-flavored Kool-Aid.

Snortable Coca-Cola.

Dog food that actually tastes pretty good if you close your eyes and pretend it’s chicken, or something like that.

Mint-flavored milk.

Shaved ice that glows in the dark (56 mSv).

Alcoholic ramen.

Turkey arm.

Half-melted Tootsie Roll discovered at the bottom of the storage compartment between the two front seats of your car, beneath lots of old tissues, grocery store receipts, a tiny bottle of Hand Sanitizer, and other random shit.

Swiss cheese with the holes filled in with other kinds of cheese.

Inside-out BLT.

4 small cubes of unsalted butter.

A slice of bread with the soft inner portion cut away, so only the crust is left.

Pentagram onion rings invoked by the Unnamed One, Lord of the Shadow Realm.

A janky-ass can of beans.

Cheesecake sushi. Or sushi cheesecake. Either one is fine, since that’s all you’re going to get for the rest of eternity.

Buffalo Wild Wings made from real buffalo.

Poor buffalo.

Photo of Brandon Yu

BIO: Brandon Yu is a writer and poet from South Florida with a passion for storytelling. His work is forthcoming or has been published in BOOTH,
Blood+Honey, Maudlin House, Soup Can Magazine, Fabula Argentea, Oyster River Pages, the Washington Square Review LCC, the Gordon Square Review, and elsewhere.