a day like the best country songs
by Jordan Trethewey
Pet kangaroo got hit by a semi,
had to put him out of his misery.
Took him to a butcher buddy for salvage.
My tears sizzle on the grill,
barbecuing the undamaged flank...
Pffssst!
It's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Wife wouldn't quit nagging 'bout overgrown lawn.
Explained our duty to facilitate restoration
of North American honey bee population,
allowing natural growth of common flora.
No cash, she wasn't buying.
Local pavers more-than-willing to oblige
a need for neatness—levelled the whole front yard.
S’pose the next complaint will be 'bout
neighbours parking on it...
Pffssst!
It's 5 o'clock somewhere.
The kids hate my guts.
Got tired of stepping barefoot
on their goddamn LEGO and wheeled toys
while fumbling toward a 1 a.m. piss.
Took a butane torch,
melted all that shit together,
set it rolling down the street
dead-ending at the river...
Pffssst!
It's five o'clock somewhere.
Photo of Jordan Trethewey
BIO: Jordan Trethewey lives in Fredericton, NB, Canada, with his wife, son, and daughter. He is the writer-in-residence at the Fredericton Region Museum, and a past City of Fredericton Poet Laureate (2021-2024).
Jordan’s writing appears in many journals, such as Maclean’s, Arc Poetry Magazine, and Spillwords; on the right shoulder blade of a fan, and was included in a failed mission to rest in a time capsule on the moon. He is a member of the League of Canadian Poets, and an editor at Open Arts Forum. Some of his work is also translated in Vietnamese, Farsi, and French.
Jordan’s latest book, “These Are the People in Your Neighbourhood” (2023), is the fulfillment of his legacy project as poet laureate. His books “Spirits for Sale” (2019), and “Unexpected Mergers” (2021) are collaborations with Dutch artist Marcel Herms. His poetry collections, “Peculiar Portraits,” and “SyncWord,” are forthcoming from Anxiety Press, and Gridlock Lit, respectively.