the great curmudgeon (an exorcism)
by Jordan Trethewey
The Great Curmudgeon
is not a scaly dragon, though
it is reported that he spits fire
at both friend and foe.
The Great Curmudgeon
stands in front of a wall
with a face painted on it.
He proceeds to talk it off.
The Great Curmudgeon
is ninety percent negativity.
Eighty percent of that
purely perceived.
The Great Curmudgeon
consumes less media
the older he gets. Relaxes
in front of Fireplace Channel.
The Great Curmudgeon
lost his sense of urgency,
he thinks. A zombie to the High.
Escapee from Reality.
The Great Curmudgeon
immediately declares,
Rules are wrong!
They do not apply to him.
The Great Curmudgeon
gets cheap thrills at flea markets
reminding himself how
unappreciated he is.
The Great Curmudgeon
believes the pendulum never rests
on fairness because we all
want the upper hand.
The Great Curmudgeon
wonders why, when given
every opportunity to succeed,
do youth prefer to fail?
The Great Curmudgeon
thinks one is just as bad as the other
in a two-party system.
The rest a wasted vote.
The Great Curmudgeon
plays claw machine in the mirror
using tweezers on white hairs
at age 45. Black ones at 60.
The Great Curmudgeon
knows relief is his stand-in
for happiness— a feeling long ago
abandoned as unattainable.
The Great Curmudgeon
thinks, when worst-case
scenarios come true,
At least I’m not a fascist flunky.
The Great Curmudgeon
agrees that dogs don’t believe in loss.
Memories aren’t stored—no nostalgia
bubbles up in medial temporal lobes.
The Great Curmudgeon
presumes Humanity’s freedom is lost
when AI is able to anticipate thoughts,
actions, based on datasets.
The Great Curmudgeon
wonders at people suspicious of
artists, only they know how to keep
their daydream minds alive.
The Great Curmudgeon
says we’re being forced underneath
faster than a rock tossed in a lake.
Never have so few conned so many.
The Great Curmudgeon
feels guilty about joyful days
when his son refuses
to be part of the family.
The Great Curmudgeon
knows life is not a vast tapestry.
It’s crazy quilted. Made of
hand-me-down experiences.
The Great Curmudgeon
automatically argues
a compliment. They make him
uncomfortable. Are irritants.
The Great Curmudgeon
despises infinite choice.
He’s meant for strict survival:
do, or do not. Kill, or be killed.
The Great Curmudgeon
is at the point in his career
where he finally realizes
everyone mocks his sincerity.
The Great Curmudgeon
has friends who might reminisce
fondly about him over pints, but
will not hoist him into legacy.
The Great Curmudgeon
disappoints his mother
in the end. Practicality of religion
the sticking point.
The Great Curmudgeon
understands it’s hard to give up
the fight, when there’s nothing
left to be done.
The Great Curmudgeon
asserts that the Eighties
was an inside joke perpetrated
by the kinky elite.
The Great Curmudgeon,
like Dylan, believes that life
is but a joke. You only learn
how to live it near completion.
The Great Curmudgeon
understands we all compete
with our best selves, and
ideal others, in the end.
Click here to read Jordan’s bio.