the drag race in hell

by Allister Nelson

Shut up, shut up, you cambion bastards –

RuPaul’s on in Hell! Beelzebub is dressed

as Iris Apfel, furs and gingham clad. Lu

is Dolly for some reason, diamond or

rhinestone, I can’t tell. Samael is eating

green eggs in Hell, he’s the Cat in the Hat,

with tits on at that, shit served flat, begat

upon Asmodeus, who is strutting as Hedwig –

oh, must I say it, you know, Hedy LaMarr!

Look at his – erm, HER inventions, glued to

his-her bustier! And Aym takes the stage

as Marie Antoinette. Is this okay

for tradwives in Hell? Are Republican demons

liberal, if Christians are anti-gay, then shouldn’t demon

Republicans, be queer as fuck? Oh, every night here

is a gay orgy anywhere, honey, where’s the lube, I don’t

know Sam, Fran, Pam, what was your name?

You want ME on stage, in a Jezebel getup, dog mask

on? Well, I had an Appletini

so

okay! - eve

Click here to read Allister’s bio.