because

by Jennifer Jenkins

Because I am all my child has, I give him everything. Because I was afraid this would happen, I never wanted kids. Because I let myself be charmed by a man, I said, “I do.” Because I was likely too old to have a child, I did. Because my dad said I would be a good mother, I believed him. Because the first time in an OB-GYN office I heard that heartbeat alone (husband busy at work/hungover in bed), I cried in wonder and fell in love. Because I knew during a solitary three a.m. subway ride after seeing my husband with another woman while I was six months pregnant, that this child and I were in it together alone. Because the father of this child would repeatedly let us down, I became round-shouldered and resigned. Because he drunkenly raised his arm to me (not responsible for blackouts), I moved to shield my child. Because suddenly. Because suddenly my dad. Because suddenly my dad died and my heart was consumed by a wailing, unending tornado of pain, I took my child and left.

Photo of Jennifer Jenkins

BIO: Jennifer Jenkins is the author of the novel American Bourbon, a finalist for the Tucson Literary Award. Publications include NonBinary Review, Hippocampus Magazine, Up North Lit, and Parentheses Journal. As a playwright, her shows have been produced in New York and regionally. She has worked with Manhattan Theatre Club, Stephen Sondheim’s Young Playwrights, and the PBS television series Great Performances.